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Human beings are social creatures. We yearn for understanding and solidarity, for common ground and a common purpose. We want to be included.
That's one reason people were drawn to the recent papal Masses at stadiums in New York and Washington: Thousands of people in one place, praying with each other and cheering on their mutual belief, is a powerful way to fulfill this need.
Who knows how many of the thousands of people twirling gold-and-white flags in the air to welcome Pope Benedict XVI to New York's Yankee Stadium April 20 would call themselves lonely?
How many people feel separated from others because of their beliefs? How many felt disconnected when they walked through those stadium doors?
More than you'd think. Teens are particularly susceptible to feeling like they don't belong.
"In-crowds" embrace ostracism. An emphasis on popularity and "being cool" makes it even harder to carve out a place teens can call their own.
That's why I loved the papal Mass at Yankee Stadium. It felt like the ultimate in-crowd: Everybody belonged, no matter their age, race or personal perspective.
These days such events are criticized for being too close to secular events such as rock concerts or theatrical productions.
I don't think that's the proper perspective. A good rock concert is an excellent metaphor for how the earliest Christians felt about their faith and the kind of connection all of us are searching for.
I think back to the last concert I attended, to that one particular song that everyone was waiting for, the one that made everyone sing at the top of his or her lungs, that made everyone in the room feel like they were friends even though we were technically strangers.
That's what connection feels like.
There's a reason rock concerts - and Catholic youth conferences and papal Masses for that matter - feel so refreshing. They tell us that we stand with thousands of others who have similar beliefs and priorities no matter how popular or unpopular they are.
They tell us that we are not alone. People leave events like these feeling like they can take whatever the world throws at them.
It's not surprising that teens often feel disconnected from their churches. I've heard teens talk about being marginalized when they give suggestions about worship or church life, about how adults and teens in their churches can't seem to bridge the generation gap.
Nor do they often see other teens enjoying their time in the parish. Many teens feel like they're not part of the parish in-crowd.
That's a painful thing, and it should change.
People describe papal visits, meetings of the National Catholic Youth Conference and World Youth Days as being "electric" because they connect teens in particular to faith and friends.
But teens don't have to wait for these large events; they can create uplifting moments in their everyday lives, actively stitching together a connection wire by wire until that electricity sparkles wild, bringing them closer to God and other people.
Teens can join or even start a youth group, speaking up, reaching out and sharing their talents and excitement with others. I urge them all to wave their flags and watch what happens!
An initial euphoria won't last forever, but it's a fantastic encouragement and a great way to create the welcoming, open in-crowd we're all in search of.
As Mass-goers at Yankee Stadium found out this weekend, connection is contagious.
Karen Osborne is a syndicated columnist for Catholic News Service.
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