Marlene Mulford

Sunday, 14 June 2020 10:50

Qualities of a spiritual director

The distinction between a spiritual director and a spiritual mentor is that a director must have a master’s degree in a field related to theology. A mentor must be certified to serve as guide and companion to others on their journey to holiness. In both cases, the director and mentor must be loyal to the teachings of the Catholic Church because sound doctrine is essential. One who disobeys the teachings of Christ is a dangerous and unreliable guide. As Jesus taught, “When the blind lead the blind, they both fall into a pit” (Mt 15:14).

Sunday, 17 May 2020 15:24

The necessity of spiritual direction

There are people who are trained and are competent to assist us as we journey in conforming our lives to God’s perfect will. We should seek wise counsel because the challenges are too numerous for us to journey alone.

In the Gospel of Mark 10:17, a role example of director/directee takes place:

  • A man runs up to Jesus. (the necessity of spiritual direction)
  • He kneels down in front of Jesus. (humility)
  • He asks Jesus’ assistance. (docility)
  • “Good teacher,” he says. (recognition of the primary director of the soul)
  • “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” (desire to obey)
  • Unfortunately, the rich young man goes away sad because he is unwilling to undertake the necessary task of self-denial that Jesus offers to him.

Thomas Merton wrote, “The spiritual director is concerned with the whole person, for the spiritual life is not just the life of the mind, or of the affections, or of the ‘summit of the soul’—it is the life of the whole person … a spiritual director is, then, one who helps another to recognize and to follow the inspirations of grace in their life.”

The role of a spiritual director/mentor is focused on a person’s growth in holiness. The spiritual director/mentor is a voice of objectivity, a neutral set of eyes and ears to help a person discern God’s will and to grow in virtue and faith. Once these principles become integrated into a person’s heart and soul, the faith journey becomes the path to a deeper relationship with God bestowing endless grace and blessings. A good analogy is that of a piano teacher: the pupil may feel burdened by the rules and regulations governing their instrument. The teacher may seem authoritarian at first, but as these rules become integrated into good musical habits, the pupil is freed to become an artist!

What spiritual direction is not

Dealing with moral and spiritual matters are the proper domain for spiritual direction. It is not the proper arena to deal with or seek to resolve relational, psychological and mental issues. These cases should seek assistance from therapy and counselling.

Next time — Qualities of a spiritual director

Sunday, 19 April 2020 12:24

Spiritual direction and mentorship

One of the many inspiring messages from praying with the Sacred Scriptures is that God creates us to be in community. We are not intended to be isolated. We need to depend on, seek council from and encourage one another. In fact, this is the underlying assumption of why the New Testament was written. St. Paul mentors Timothy and Titus. He writes to the churches throughout Asia Minor encouraging and calling them to share community with one another. He simply follows the example of Jesus as he mentored his Apostles every day for three years.

The evil one attempts to steal our peace in order to block our reception and response to God’s messages. Worries, anxieties, fears, wanton passions and inflamed anger are all ways that the evil one tries to agitate our spirit to make it unreceptive to the Holy Spirit. He does this by distracting us from the reality of the present moment. Instead, the devil tempts us to dwell on unpleasant thoughts of the past or the possible foreboding future. Neither of these is the reality of now. In this way, the evil one tricks and steals our peace and the possible grace-filled moments of the present.

During the agony in the garden, Satan used these tactics against Jesus. Satan tempted Jesus to think about all of the torture and pain that lay before him. Jesus dispelled the evil one with trust in his Father’s will revealed when he said, “… not my will but thy will be done.” In placing ourselves into the Father’s hands in trust, we will destroy the devil’s plan to tempt us into turmoil and despair. The Father will bring us safely through the most challenging difficulties and dangers, leading us to final victory!

Docility means trust — trusting in the will and plans of our Heavenly Father. He has a special plan and design for each of us in order to reach our destiny of eternal life. We need only trust him! Docility enables us to move with the Holy Spirit according to his plan. We are royal sons and daughters of God. There is not an end or purpose more grand or fantastic! We must trust him in order to achieve this.

Obedience, the final ingredient

Obedience is the necessary virtue for docility. We need to forge an obedient heart to be open to Christ and his church. The Israelites suffered indignities and exiles because of their hardened hearts. Ezekiel, the prophet, foretells of the time of the Messiah when new “fleshy hearts” would be given to God’s people. They (we) would obey his statutes and commands through the washing of the waters of renewal. (cf. Ez 36:24-29)

When we doubt or withhold our acceptance of the Catholic Church teachings, we are no longer living in obedience and faith. We only accept the teachings of the church that agree with our position. In other words, we believe only that which suits ourselves and reject anything that does not. In this case, we are not living with the obedience of faith, but following our own inclinations. These inclinations are fallen and will not lead us to the truth.

Next issue – Spiritual direction.

Mary, our Blessed Mother, is the ultimate created expression of the Holy Spirit. Her guidance and understanding of the Holy Spirit are inexpressible. She is truly the Mother of God because God entrusted himself to her and he became Incarnate, the Redeemer of mankind. The Holy Spirit waited for her “yes,” then the Man-God was conceived in her womb.

In the books of Exodus and Numbers, Moses and the Israelites discerned and heard aloud the Word of God in the tent of meeting. The Ark of the Covenant, in a shimmering Cloud of Glory, dwelt in this tent. This is why it was the tent of meeting; it was literally the place on earth where God and man met and conversed.

Our faith has its own “sniffer.” It can sniff out good doctrine from bad doctrine when our hearts are attuned to prayer and flexible in the hands of God. This is the gift of “spiritual sense.” Faith is the infused gift we receive at baptism that enlightens our spiritual intellect. It is capable of illuminating the mind and heart with supernatural instinct and insight, but only when we are living in accord with the teachings of the church.

The Holy Spirit speaks in a voice that is gentle, still and small; made audible especially to us. If we allow ourselves to become accustomed to this voice, we can learn to hear and obey him. The Holy Spirit speaks to us according to our unique frequency, so that when we receive a message, it is encrypted only for us!

Sunday, 12 January 2020 10:37

Docility to the Holy Spirit

In Chapter 13 of Matthew’s Gospel, our Lord gives us the parable of the sower. In this parable —a parable of the Kingdom of God—seeds are sown in various places: on bird-filled paths, rocky ground, shallow soil, amidst thorns and thistles, and on fertile soil. Only the fertile soil offered proper ground for the seed to sprout and grow.

 Continuing from the last issue —most of us exhibit a combination of the four temperaments, but one usually predominates. Our temperaments are innate and hereditary. They are permanent and can be modified only secondarily without being totally eliminated. Acquiring the moral virtues are the greatest means to shape and modify the temperaments. This knowledge helps people to know themselves better, and to find good strategies for overcoming bad habits. In the last issue we examined the temperaments: sanguine and melancholic. The remaining two, choleric and phlegmatic:

In the last issue the four temperaments were introduced: sanguine, melancholic, choleric and phlegmatic. These are based on the predominant characteristics of our own internal make-up. Most of us exhibit a combination of these temperaments, but one usually predominates. Our temperaments are innate and hereditary. They are permanent and can be modified only secondarily without being totally eliminated. Acquiring the moral virtues are the greatest means to shape and modify the temperaments. Spiritual writers and modern psychologists have utilized this knowledge to help people know themselves better, and to find good strategies for overcoming bad habits.


In continuing the subject of the sacrament of reconciliation and purification from sin, there are some interesting concepts to help us understand our tendencies, strengths and weaknesses. Ancient spiritual writers have delineated some components of our human psyche that, once identified, can assist in uncovering root causes for certain types of behavior. These components, known as temperaments, are inclinations and reactions that each person has with regard to a given stimulus. For example: When we are assigned a huge task; or have a large block of free time; or find ourselves at a party — how do we react to these situations?


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